I cant believe its actually quiet in this house! I always have things swirling around in my head that I want to write about, but by the time I can write its loud and I cant think straight. I am going through ups and downs as I try to juggle three kids. I love my kids more than life, but at the moment I am having a hard time seeing the positive in certain situations. For example, Everett has been asleep since seven oclock tonight. I got to give Manny and Finn there baths and read them a bedtime story. I should be very happy about that, but all I can think about is how early Everett will be getting up tommorrow (not including the middle of the night feedings). I usually go to bed as soon as he does because his first stretch of nighttime sleep is the longest. So Im going to miss out on the precious sleep I need to survive. On the other hand I should be thankful for the time I was able to give to the boys tonight. Not just the time but the attention. I enjoyed giving them a bath without having to run to the other room every two minutes to try to comfort Everett (who is the neediest baby by far). Its hard to try and balance everything and still keep my sanity.
I have noticed that women are exceptional at doing a million things and keeping it all together. At least outwardly. I do have moments where I wonder if Im going to lose it, but Im sure everyone does. The sad thing about that is my family suffers when that happens. But I suppose theyre the most forgiving of my bad behavior. As I am of theirs. They are the ones who will always love me and see past my imperfections and faults. Its a wonderful thing to have that. I know that not everyone does. I was always taught that family is one of the most important things on this earth, and after losing family I try to remind myself of that when I am at my weakest emotionally.